Pensions Conference 2011. Review of Workshop D4: Making difficult conversations doable
| Speaker: | Jennifer MacKay, Jump Training and Developent |
| Summary by: | Jennifer MacKay |
We all have to face conversations that we’d rather avoid. But avoiding them can be detrimental to us, our colleagues, our clients and our business.
Key messages:
In the difficult to doable conversations workshop we looked at: what makes these conversations so complex, the importance of preparation and tips for delivering our message.
Fundamental to any conversation is establishing what is important for both parties. Planning your conversation helps to ensure a more productive outcome. One option for planning is the DANCE formula.
DANCE stands for Determine, Acknowledge, (E)nquire and Negotiate, Commit to Change and Evaluate. These steps guide you to:
- Determine: what is the problem and what change would you like to see?
- Acknowledge: how does this situation impact them, you, others and the organisation?
- (E)nquire and Negotiate: ask questions and listen; state what you need to happen and propose potential solutions.
- Commit to Change: agree the action that both parties will take.
- Evaluate: set time to review progress.
How we deliver our message is as important as what we say. Speaking at a steady pace and pausing helps us to remain calm. Maintaining steady, but not overpowering eye contact keeps the connection with the other person. Open body language fosters dialogue.
This was a well attended session; perhaps an indicator that many of us find difficult conversations challenging. The energetic and interactive workshop combined ‘theory’ and ‘practice’ with participants sharing ideas and experimenting with the strategies.
What next?
The good news is that communication is a skill. By dedicating time and practice to any skill we improve. The same goes for having difficult conversations. So next time you see a tricky conversation looming on the horizon take a step back, assess what both parties need and plan out your conversation. For more information on developing your communications skills see www.jumptraining.co.uk